My mail order Zoloft finally arrived, two months late. I didn’t off myself or anybody else; I didn’t wreck my car, or have ill-advised sex with a stranger. I didn’t quit my job or yell at my boss. One could say that my crazy pills arrived in time.
On the other hand, I did begin a minor fling with a young… very young… fellow from work. That can’t have been a good
idea. I’m hoping he doesn’t find “sane” me as appealing as crazy me, and he’ll just quietly go away.
I’m going to miss crazy me. Life on the roller-coaster is amazing when you’re on the ascent. I’ll miss singing and dancing in public. I’ll miss laughing out loud at dumb movies. And, if I’m honest, I’ll miss flirting with the sweet young thing from work. I could regret losing all of this, if I didn’t know that the roller-coaster always goes down again. There’s no escaping gravity.
And this insomnia is killing me! Sane me sleeps… I miss sleeping.
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New Pollyanna 
Been there, done that. I love the highs too, but so afraid of the lows, and they always come. It’s good when everything is back under control though. But oh, how I love those highs.
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Reblogged this on Jin Okubo and commented:
I feel you
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LOL, well said. You don’t have to say goodbye to the crazy however, it’s still in us all, just hopefully tempered with a bit of wisdom. Sleep certainly helps 😉
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I think I could enjoy al the crazy parts except the insomnia. Sane or crazy, this boy needs his sleep. I hope things settle down, but not too fast.
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I had a long list – still do, but it’s on another computer that I can’t get into at the moment – of all of the incredible people throughout history, Beethoven, Van Gogh, just to name a couple, who likely would not have given the world anything had it not been for their Bi-Polar Disorder.
As for the sleep, might I suggest Melatonin? I doubt it would affect any of your other meds, but I would certainly check with your doctor first.
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I’ve tried melatonin… no effect. The only thing that seems to help is to turn up the serotonin. And the fact that it also keeps me from being quite so self-destructive makes it an easy choice. Interesting question though… is it better to give beauty to the world while you self-destruct, or to live a peaceful life?
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I opt for the peaceful life – my Bi-Polar daughter committed suicide.
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I’m so sorry.
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I knew nothing of BiPolar Disorder until it was too late.
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Oh, and easy on the meds – normalcy is overrated, wouldn’t want you to get too sane on us —
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Ha! No danger of THAT!
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In the average scan of any crowd, the eye is almost magnetically attracted to the out of the ordinary —
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A little fun never harmed anyone, and good for you, you young Cougar! : )
PS: I agree: Normalcy is overrated.
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Rawr!
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Two months without?? Oof! My best wishes as you and your (remedicated!) brain adjust to one another again…
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Thanks…. I’m actually back to “normal” already. I decided to cut my dose in half to see if I can sleep and be somewhat normal without being quite so apathetic, and so far it’s working well.
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Get a sleeping pill and you can do more crazy stuff.
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